Where to begin....2/12/09

Today was our appointment at CHOP. I had an echo and ultrasound done and also met with one of the midwives and did the transfer of care. After all of that was done, we met with the Dr again and went over "the plan". It didnt seem like much of a plan, but i guess thinking back on it, it's more of a plan then what we've had at recent appointments.

The doctor informed us that he is growing good (about 6 1/2lbs!!) and the heart function seems to be pretty much the same. She stressed to us though, that the one side of the heart is a little more "squished" then it has been, but not a huge change since last time. Her concern is and pretty much has been, that when Kaiden is born that the squished side of the heart will be so small that it wont be able to function normally and not allow normal blood flow through his body ( which pretty much has been the same talk the whole time). So as far as Kaiden's well being at this time, seems to be that he is stable and has not gotten increasingly worse.

As far as the "plan" goes, they gave us a date of March 4th for the C-section delivery. It's not set in stone yet, because they still need to catch up with the rest of the doctors to make sure that works for them and thats what they would like to see happen. But we should know i believe by Monday if the 4th is going to stick or not. Also, if for some reason Kaiden shows signs of stress they may even decide to take him earlier then that. As for my weekly visits, i will be going to CHOP. My next appointment is for Thursday, 19th. I will be having a prenatal check up as well as another echo. They also said that i should be meeting with the majority of the Doctors that we will be dealing with as far as the Csection and care for Kaiden go. Im assuming they will go over how a C section is done and everything about it, and also hopefully talk with the doctors that will be caring for kaiden as soon as he is born. Doctor today did say that its very unlikely that i will get to hold kaiden as soon as he's born. She thinks that he will be "too sick" and will need to go right to the doctors for them to begin evaluating him and giving him whatever care is necessary for him. That's definately a bummer, who doesnt want to hold their little one as soon as their born?! But if it's in the best interest for him, im all for it. Then the following week i will also go up to CHOP, not sure exactly what will be done then, im assuming an echo to check on his heart and also a prenatal check up. Then the week after that will hopefully be the BIG WEEK!!

So a little bit of news came from this appointment. Of course we didnt get ALL the answers we want but atleast we're getting closer to having kaiden here right in front of everyone! Its been a long day, so im going to go lay down and get some rest...hopefully my little boy will let me!! :) Thank you all for the continued prayers, and i will continue writing and getting my thoughts out. Sometimes i feel like i complain too much to Anthony or my Mom, so this is a good way to just get it all out :)

Goodnight<3

Most recent dream of Kaiden 2/10/09

Two nights ago i had an amazing & unforgettable dream about our little boy. This will have been my 2nd dream invloving him. The first one was a little confusing, but basically it consisted of him being in a hospital, in a crib which he was crawling out of & breaking through. I went over to him and picked him up. he had a full head of dark hair and seemed to be a little skinny, also had tubes in his nose and mouth. I held him in my arms then i woke up. What stuck out to me in the dream was his dark hair, the tubes, and that he was a little thin. This 2nd dream of mine was totally different......



Mom, Ken, Mom-mom & poppop, anthony and i were all at our apartment resting, Kaiden was in his bassinet sleeping. I woke up from hearing Kaiden starting to cry. i went over to his bassinet where he was swaddled in a blanket, i picked him up and started rocking him and went to fix him a bottle. It felt like i had no idea about where things were like his bottles and formula because i asked mom if there were any prepared bottles. she said no that she would come help me fix him one. as she was fixing it, i remember looking at kaiden in my arms and he was staring up at me with his cute little smile and giggling. i also remember his dark hair which in my dream i compared to anthony's. then after that, i remember everyone commenting on how big he was and how healthy he looked....i also remember holding him and my arms getting tired!! :) I also asked Mom if it was normal to have cramping and she said "no just some discharge, like when your water broke" so i asked her if i had a c-section and she said "no you went right into labor" i didnt believe her, but she said i would start to remember everything soon. but i kept telling her she was just joking and that she was going to tell me she was kidding.



so it was a very interesting dream. it was almost like i didnt remember going through the labor, but yet Kaiden seemed very healthy and was at home with the family, like nothing was ever wrong. its things like that, that just boost my spirits up that much more! there's got to be some kind of explanation to those two dreams being SO different and at two totally different times in the pregnancy. if anyone has any information on dreams, or any websites let me know...im very interested in learning more about them!



Just another day and a half until we go up to Philly and hopefully get the big date set up!! I cannot wait!! I'll write back soon!!



Love, Nikki Anthony & Special K :)

just a few words...2/8/09

I wanted to thank everyone who has been lighting a candle for our little boy. If you haven't and would like to I've added the link below to the website. It's amazing how many people truly care and have been behind us through this whole roller coaster ride of an adventure.

I woke up this morning just waiting for Kaiden's kick or hit to fully wake me up. He must've been a little sleepy too, because it took him a few minutes to give me some "love taps" :) I'm sure today will be full of movement just like it has been! Even though theyre getting stronger and a little painful at times, i still cherish every feeling i get from Kaiden, Daddy's been enjoying getting lots of "love taps" also :)

Alright, time to get my Sunday going! I will write back soon.

Love - Nikki


Light a candle ---- http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=kmd